Delivered at the Sheva Berachot - Oct 2009, of my son Yaakob Grazi and my daughter in law Gloria Grazi
Rabbi Miller once said never give advice to your son in law. But he didn’t say son and he didn’t say daughter in law. So I would like to offer some advice to my son and my new daughter in law. These are tips that I have learned about marriage over the years.
Some I read, some I heard, some I learned the hard way
These are not halacha le'moshe misinai - they are just logic - but svara is also d'oraita so maybe they are!
1. Yaakob - Remember the door-knob. When you come home, let the doorknob be a reminder that you are leaving the outside world and coming into your home
2. People will tell you marriage is compromise. That is not true. Marriage is complete and total submission, Never expect more than that, and learn to love it!
3. Before you sit on the bed, always feel with your hand if the other person’s feet are in the way.
4. When you remove jewelry to wash, put it between your lips until you wash, then put it back on your finger then say beracha. You might be able to buy new jewelry but you can never replace the sentiment.
5. You love each other and you will always love each other. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments. No matter how serious the argument, never ever ever use the “D” word.
6. Never say anything that will have a permanent consequences. You can show anger, but never be angry.
7. Never go to bed with an argument
8. Never be too proud to say I am sorry, I was wrong. Even if you know you are 100% right
9. Here is an important one - Driver gets to pick the music!
10. Give each other 100% of your time, and then leave over 100% for each of your children
11. Ask Hashem for help constantly. He really does hear and he really does answer.
12. Love each other with all your hearts – say it to each other often. And mean it!
13. Don’t be casual with your word. Deliver what you promise.
